Thursday, March 29, 2012

Isn't it sad when you realize that someone your not very close with turns out to be a better friend then someone you thought was your best friend, and isn't it sad that when you tell someone you think you can trust a secret and then later they use that secret against you. Last night I got into a big fight with someone who I thought was my best friend, lets call her Alice, we went through a period were we would fight all the time but that was when we were both at least 6 or 7 years younger and we would fight all the time but then Alice got into some big trouble and surprisingly enough I was the one she came to to talk so after that we got along a lot better we still fought very once and a while but not as much, and we got older and a lot of stuff happened and whenever Alice needed to talk I was always there and vise versa (but mostly she talked) then a couple of months ago we started fighting again, bad fighting to we would yell and throw things we were both very immature about the whole thing and the worse part was that it was little things that set her off (she was the one that usually started it but I wouldn't prevent it from becoming a actual fight) most of the time it was me setting an alarm and not waking up to it. Lately I have begun to realize that she isn't a saint she always talks about herself and whenever I start to talk about something she changes the subject back to her, and she lies a lot she will twist things so the story always turns out that she's the victim and she always gets what she wants and when she doesn't (which is rare) she pouts about it like a five year old and she's eighteen, she gets all defencive. It bugs me that she does all this I mean she is a very nice person when she wants to be but other then that she is kinda evil. I know it sounds like I'm trying to make it sound like I am so helpless and that none of this is my fault but that's not what I'm saying I don't usually start it but I do my share of the fighting and and I know that she is six years older then me and I think she should know not to pick a fight with a 13 year old. I know I should take the high road but its so hard to do that when she starts using the things I tell her in confedenence against me, she told another one of my friends lets call him Fred, a secret that I trusted her enough to tell her. And that brings me to the other part of this story when she did tell Fred that secret he got all defenceive and tried to make it sound like a joke but he said that he doesn't approve of the secret and that he would kick the other person who the secret was abouts butt, I know that sounds funny but it made me very happy to hear because I didn't know that Fred cared enough to kick somebody's butt for me... well not for me but to protect me. And then it hit me the person who I thought was my best friend turns out that she was only faking it. So I learned two things today the person who I was always sorta friends with but never very close with is actually a great friend and cares about me more then I thought, and that the person I always told everything to and was always there for, was just acting so she could get attention. All this makes me feel like Alice isn't trustworthy but I will always be there for her I might not put up with her crap anymore or tell her anything personal ever again, but she's my friend andi will always be there for her no matter how many fights we get into its not worth losing her.

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